Life Hack: Co-working Questionnaire

How to separate the wheat from the chavs.

Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

As you know, I have a little co-working group (of two people), and I’ve floated the suggestion to another friend who I think may be a good candidate, as she works from home all the time, and therefore suffers from acute cabin fever too.

I’m thinking for the first one, that I should meet her solo instead of trying to make it a three-ball, a sort of vetting process if you will, in case she has any strange working habits that we need to be aware of from the get go.

I must admit that occasionally I happen upon people talking loudly on the phone whilst in a co-working space, which in my view is really inconsiderate to those around you. Be all means, if you have to answer the phone go for it, but don’t participate in a Zoom so loudly that the entire room feels involved.

So I’m thinking if I vet people first, then it removes the potential awkwardness of someone joining the group and then me having to have a ‘quiet word’ with them about the amount of calls they (loudly) took during it.

The questionnaire would therefore flag up any potential issues from the start, here’s what I’m thinking:

The basics

1. Home postcode:

2. How often would you like to WFP (Work From Pub)?

3. Preferred days of the week?

4. What sort of work are you likely to be doing?

Co-working etiquette

1. Would you choose an afternoon when you had no calls/meetings?

2. Have you ever been compared to a foghorn?

3. Are you a spreader? (Books, devices, chargers, notepads etc… not legs.)

4. If arriving late, would you be accompanied by lots of huffing and puffing, and feel the need to apologise loudly and continually to everyone else in the group, or would you just sit down and shut up?

5. Do you think people are genuinely fascinated by how long it took you to get through the roadworks on the A31 on the way here?

6. Would you raise a concern if a fellow co-worker was incessantly chatting on their phone?

7. If not, mark your ‘sideways glance’ out of ten.

8. Do you have the skill set to execute the perfect ‘harrumph’?

9. How many times do you think it’s socially acceptable to adjust your chair in one hour?

10. Do you get competitive about your typing speed?

Technology

1. Why did you not think to charge your laptop before setting off today?

2. Is your phone on silent?

3. Do you consider ‘on vibrate’ to be the same thing?

4. If so, what year do you think it is?

5. Would you ever dream of scrolling Facebook, Instagram or (heaven forbid) TikTok with your laptop/phone sound turned on?

Food & drink

1. What sort of afternoon snack do you favour?

2. Do you consider ‘rack of lamb’ to be an afternoon snack?

3. Have you ever pulled a boiled egg out of your bag?

4. Would you consider sharing your tiny, cute coffee biscuit with the non-coffee drinkers in the group?

Mental health

1. Would you consider yourself to be happy?

2. Do you like to overshare?

3. When you have a parcel delivered at home, can the ‘story’ of said delivery often turn into an arse-achingly dull saga?

4. Are you thinking of changing your broadband provider in the next three months?

Physical health

1. Are you aware when you fart?

2. When you have a cold, do you sniff relentlessly or actually blow your nose from time to time?

3. Do you suffer from hay fever? Or are you prone to sneezing for any other reason?

4. Do you shower daily?

5. Would you consider co-working a good enough excuse to use your ‘nice’ perfume?

6. If arriving from the dentist or Doctors, would you feel the need to enlighten everyone with the detail?

Family

1. Do you have children?

2. How often have you needed to say “Can you put daddy on the phone?” in the last week?

3. Do you believe we would genuinely want to see more than one photo of each child?

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

Celebrations

1. Do you know to look at the other person’s elbow for perfect high five execution?

2. Does your fist-bump end in a starburst?

3. Do you have a gluten intolerance?

4. Were you the person in the office who always organised the birthday or leaving card?

Security

1. Has anyone ever had their bag or laptop stolen when you’ve been ‘keeping an eye’ on it?

2. How long do you think a ‘pop to the toilet’ should take, maximum?

Culture

1. What time do you think ‘Friday beers’ should officially start?

2. Your thoughts on the ‘kiss hello’?

3. Have you ever been accused of absentmindedly singing along to the music in a public place?

4. Have you ever used the phrase ‘If you hum it, I’ll sing it!’

5. If so, can you carry a tune?

6. Are you Celine Dion?

Obviously this is a work in progress, and I’m very much open to discussion and feedback about the above, and welcome any additional points that I may have missed.

I think this process will save everyone a lot of time, and ensure a harmonious co-working environment.

You’re welcome.

K8x

Join in the comments below:

Do any of your colleagues have annoying habits that I should include in my questionnaire?

What have I forgotten to ask about? 🤓

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