It’s so interesting, isn’t it? And nobody really talks about it. Although I did try and strike up this conversation with a fellow school parent last week and it fell a bit flat. I’m probably now the weird parent.
Also, I’d pay good money to see your Google search history!
It is super interesting, such a shame you struck unlucky with the school parent, most people I've asked have been more than happy to share what's going on up top. It's particularly funny when a married couple finds out for the first time how each other think!
Why have we all not spoken about this before, it's fascinating!
Btw, it sounds like ours are very similar, I'd be lost without it. 😂
The Judge, "Kate won't want to hear what you have to say. It is of no consequence."
Pleaser, "Yes, she will. We want her to feel better about her post and then she will love Gary."
Judge, "But he's got nothing useful or worthy to say."
Mr Hypervigilant, "I'll read the other comments first, so we know what we're dealing with and I can help minimise any threats."
Wimp, "Please Gary don't, you might get some nasty comments back, better to sit back and not upset anyone."
Deep Mind, "Trust Gary to know what he's doing."
Me, "I hear you all, and I understand your position, but I choose to engage with Kate. I'm sure I'll learn more about life.
As you see, I don't have an internal 'monologue'. Instead I had/have an internal 'chorus'. I used to call them my Demons. They are still here with me, but I re-named them to suit their new roles as my Champions.
I'm shocked there is no correlation between more men not having an inner monologue vs women. I remember explaining to my husband once how my brain is constantly talking and he looked at me like I was crazy. His is QUIET unless he is actively thinking through ONE problem!
Totally makes sense more writers have the inner monologue. Thanks for this deep dive and loved your structure of injecting your inner monologue into the post.
I totally agree, I was fully expecting not as many men to have the monologue, I think they might tend towards dialogue more. Don't forget we are coming from the 'female writer's' perspective so our heads are busy busy! 😂
I too was fascinated and asked my husband. First, he thought I was talking about hearing voices tell you things and said definitely not, then he said he didn't think he had one and then, after taking a bath, he said yes, he had been talking to himself in his head. I can't imagine NOT having an inner monologue. I have even noticed that when I am in France, where I speak French sufficiently well to converse (making lots of mistakes), my inner monologue continues in French for a period. Thanks for making us think about it.
NO FUCKING WAY?! I thought we all had them too. You're kinda blowing my mind. This does explain a few things with a few people that I haven't been able to "put my finger on"... I bet they don't have anyone in their head tell them how stupid they sound. 🤯
My partner doesn’t have an inner monologue! Wild! How does he think? My inner monologue never shuts up. Sometimes it does become less inner and I end up walking around and talking to myself but that’s bound to happen when things get carried away in my brain…
I was fascinated when my friend and I had this convo & she couldn’t understand how my head was always chattering. I think I have both a monologue & dialogue but I probably very more towards a dialogue. I also talk to every living creature I encounter, from the midges buzzing round my face this morning to the caterpillar I tried to stop from killing itself on the road & the lamb that jumped back over the fence after to dog told it to jog on!
Oh yes for sure! It started when we got the dog because that felt excusable & then we’ve got more rural and it’s just got worse. When I was in Kent recently I had to stop myself from doing the ministry of funny walks because I realised I was in ‘public’ 🤣
I first learnt about the inner voice on a personal development course. The trainer said: if you want to build your confidence, pay attention to your inner monologue. And if you don’t know what that is, it’s a little voice inside of you right now saying: what the hell is that. I have no idea what she’s talking about. 🤣
Do you have an inner monologue, or a dialogue perhaps? I do have an inner monologue. I used to talk to myself a lot--still do, actually--when I was younger. And I'm a writer, so, it all makes sense. LOL
Do you see numbers or days of the week in colour? I don't, but I do consider myself to be a visual learner. I can't imagine not being able to visualize things. That's so weird to me, but it sounds incredibly fascinating.
I talk to myself aloud, frequently. It’s perfectly natural for me. I get a lot of funny looks from people, usually strangers, but I’ve done as long as I can remember, and that’s a pretty long time. Usually I’m encouraging myself, but occasionally it’s “RC, you dummy, what were you thinking!?”
I don't see names in colour though, that must be interesting? What colour is Kate? Does it vary according to the person or is it attached to the name itself?
Yes, can’t wait to compare notes! 😆 It’s attached to the name rather than the person, so must be something to do with the letters..? Kate is grey I’m afraid.. but a nice light grey 😆
Oh, my mind is now completely blown....I honestly didn't know that most people don't have any kind of other conversation in their heads. I did know that other people don't find themselves singing snatches of songs to suit a situation...realised that in high school & learnt to keep it in my head.
I do have an inner monologue! 100% and thank * for that. It’s my daily/ hourly staff meeting ( self-employed) ;) I do not see numbers on colour though. Although I do have that thing that I get goosebumps from music and certain paintings/ art makes me cry.
I think the only cure is to address whatever it is that you find yourself thinking about when you wake up at that time. Sounds like it's causing you more stress than you realise.
That must be the worst, I have devoured many an episode of Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, it seems to be a particular type of business that people struggle to let go. Well done for getting out! 👏👏👏
I totally understand, I used to do the same, waking up at 4am doing cash flow forecasts in my head when I was worried about the business. Not a great way to start the day. 😂
It’s so interesting, isn’t it? And nobody really talks about it. Although I did try and strike up this conversation with a fellow school parent last week and it fell a bit flat. I’m probably now the weird parent.
Also, I’d pay good money to see your Google search history!
It is super interesting, such a shame you struck unlucky with the school parent, most people I've asked have been more than happy to share what's going on up top. It's particularly funny when a married couple finds out for the first time how each other think!
Why have we all not spoken about this before, it's fascinating!
Btw, it sounds like ours are very similar, I'd be lost without it. 😂
Hi Kate,
The Judge, "Kate won't want to hear what you have to say. It is of no consequence."
Pleaser, "Yes, she will. We want her to feel better about her post and then she will love Gary."
Judge, "But he's got nothing useful or worthy to say."
Mr Hypervigilant, "I'll read the other comments first, so we know what we're dealing with and I can help minimise any threats."
Wimp, "Please Gary don't, you might get some nasty comments back, better to sit back and not upset anyone."
Deep Mind, "Trust Gary to know what he's doing."
Me, "I hear you all, and I understand your position, but I choose to engage with Kate. I'm sure I'll learn more about life.
As you see, I don't have an internal 'monologue'. Instead I had/have an internal 'chorus'. I used to call them my Demons. They are still here with me, but I re-named them to suit their new roles as my Champions.
I suspect I'm not unique.
That’s brilliant! 👏
You are not alone in these internal conversations.
Lovely touch about the rebranding though, so now they’re working for and not against you! Genius! 🤓
Only took about fifteen years to initiate their transformation!
You got there in the end though, bloody well done! 👏 🎉
It’s a nice place to be.
Gary I love how you’ve named them, such a good way to identify the underlying sense or feeling.
That made it easier to learn how to love them.
Not only do I have an inner monologue, I've got a soundtrack, and a visual cinematic montage. It's a damn film festival inside my head.
Hee hee, do you also have a Director strutting about with a megaphone trying to organise them all? 📣
Of course!
I'm shocked there is no correlation between more men not having an inner monologue vs women. I remember explaining to my husband once how my brain is constantly talking and he looked at me like I was crazy. His is QUIET unless he is actively thinking through ONE problem!
Totally makes sense more writers have the inner monologue. Thanks for this deep dive and loved your structure of injecting your inner monologue into the post.
I totally agree, I was fully expecting not as many men to have the monologue, I think they might tend towards dialogue more. Don't forget we are coming from the 'female writer's' perspective so our heads are busy busy! 😂
I too was fascinated and asked my husband. First, he thought I was talking about hearing voices tell you things and said definitely not, then he said he didn't think he had one and then, after taking a bath, he said yes, he had been talking to himself in his head. I can't imagine NOT having an inner monologue. I have even noticed that when I am in France, where I speak French sufficiently well to converse (making lots of mistakes), my inner monologue continues in French for a period. Thanks for making us think about it.
I was wondering what happened with dual-language people, thanks for feeding back! 🤓
NO FUCKING WAY?! I thought we all had them too. You're kinda blowing my mind. This does explain a few things with a few people that I haven't been able to "put my finger on"... I bet they don't have anyone in their head tell them how stupid they sound. 🤯
My partner doesn’t have an inner monologue! Wild! How does he think? My inner monologue never shuts up. Sometimes it does become less inner and I end up walking around and talking to myself but that’s bound to happen when things get carried away in my brain…
You're not alone, it turns out a lot of people do that. 👏
Can confirm! I'm one of them. My inner blabla is *constant*. I had no idea that there were people who don't have one!
I know, it's astonishing to think what it would be like without the commentary. 😂
I was fascinated when my friend and I had this convo & she couldn’t understand how my head was always chattering. I think I have both a monologue & dialogue but I probably very more towards a dialogue. I also talk to every living creature I encounter, from the midges buzzing round my face this morning to the caterpillar I tried to stop from killing itself on the road & the lamb that jumped back over the fence after to dog told it to jog on!
Do you think your 'out loud' chatter has increased since your move to the Orkney's, where there are less people to hear you?
Oh yes for sure! It started when we got the dog because that felt excusable & then we’ve got more rural and it’s just got worse. When I was in Kent recently I had to stop myself from doing the ministry of funny walks because I realised I was in ‘public’ 🤣
😂
I first learnt about the inner voice on a personal development course. The trainer said: if you want to build your confidence, pay attention to your inner monologue. And if you don’t know what that is, it’s a little voice inside of you right now saying: what the hell is that. I have no idea what she’s talking about. 🤣
Mind blown! I had totally just assumed everyone had an inner monologue/dialogue. Wow imagine the peace... 🌥🌥
But would it be calm peace or eerie... we'll never know! 😂
Do you have an inner monologue, or a dialogue perhaps? I do have an inner monologue. I used to talk to myself a lot--still do, actually--when I was younger. And I'm a writer, so, it all makes sense. LOL
Do you see numbers or days of the week in colour? I don't, but I do consider myself to be a visual learner. I can't imagine not being able to visualize things. That's so weird to me, but it sounds incredibly fascinating.
I sure do have an inner monologue, and I’d love it if anyone could help me shut this damn thing off.
That is above my pay grade unfortunately! 😂
Well, you tried. It’s getting worse all the time. Now I know what my poor wife has been suffering all these years from my Outer Monologue.
I've heard a lot of talk about Outer Monologues here too, it does seem that a lot of Inner ones escape outside... when the coast is clear. 😉
I talk to myself aloud, frequently. It’s perfectly natural for me. I get a lot of funny looks from people, usually strangers, but I’ve done as long as I can remember, and that’s a pretty long time. Usually I’m encouraging myself, but occasionally it’s “RC, you dummy, what were you thinking!?”
Oh my god.. yes! I see days, numbers and people's names in colour! I don't mention it much through fear of sounding like a total nut job! 😄
We must compare colours next time I see you!
I don't see names in colour though, that must be interesting? What colour is Kate? Does it vary according to the person or is it attached to the name itself?
Yes, can’t wait to compare notes! 😆 It’s attached to the name rather than the person, so must be something to do with the letters..? Kate is grey I’m afraid.. but a nice light grey 😆
Oh well, at least grey goes with everyone else, no colour clashes! 😉
Oh, my mind is now completely blown....I honestly didn't know that most people don't have any kind of other conversation in their heads. I did know that other people don't find themselves singing snatches of songs to suit a situation...realised that in high school & learnt to keep it in my head.
I do have an inner monologue! 100% and thank * for that. It’s my daily/ hourly staff meeting ( self-employed) ;) I do not see numbers on colour though. Although I do have that thing that I get goosebumps from music and certain paintings/ art makes me cry.
I just wish some mornings around 4am I could shut mine up when it starts to worry. I would love to be able to go back to sleep.
Aah, the 4am fret-session, it's a thing. 😞
I think the only cure is to address whatever it is that you find yourself thinking about when you wake up at that time. Sounds like it's causing you more stress than you realise.
Good luck!
Thanks, it's not a huge problem, only when I am under stress from RL events.
That must be the worst, I have devoured many an episode of Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, it seems to be a particular type of business that people struggle to let go. Well done for getting out! 👏👏👏
Thank you. The other bonus was gettng our lives back!
I totally understand, I used to do the same, waking up at 4am doing cash flow forecasts in my head when I was worried about the business. Not a great way to start the day. 😂
I get that. We had a failing restaurant. So glad that is over.