Film & TV: Kate Rates and Slates

What I’ve been watching recently, and whether you should too.

Welcome to a new series of TV and Film reviews where the aim is to give you a good steer on several all at once, rather than my usual deep dive on just one or two. 

These will hopefully give you a good steer on what to watch, as I have handily included a Taste Guide for you.

Warning: this does contain some spoilers.

Kate Rates

The Perfect Couple (Netflix) ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 

This is a ‘murder mystery’ set in Nantucket, a stunning island just off Cape Cod. It’s all gorgeous rich people, in fabulous clothes, in a beautiful setting.

The scene is set for a wedding weekend, you don’t have to wait too long for the first dead body to rock up and the suspects are plentiful. Perfect.

The individual motives are picked through methodically as we delve deeper into the increasingly complicated lives of the family members as the story unfolds. 

Nice, easy viewing, not as good as The White Lotus in plot or characterisations, but it’ll top you up until that new series comes out.

Watch: if you love a beachside whodunnit that isn’t too taxing on the grey cells.

Don’t watch: if you’re obsessed by Nicole Kidman’s facelift, you will find it distracting.

Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story (Netflix)
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

This is not for the faint-hearted. Buyer beware.

It tells the story of why a pair of brothers killed their parents. The fact that they did it, is not in dispute, this is all about the ‘why’.

The structure of this Series is captivating and the acting superb. I chewed through all nine episodes in just three sessions. Utterly compelling story-telling. 

I don’t want to spoil this one at all for you, as the surprise is not the plot, but how the story is told, and how you react to it as the story unfolds. 

Unwitting audience participation, simply brilliant.

Watch: if you can stand detailed description of sexual abuse.

Don’t watch: if you’re planning on baking some cinnamon cookies for Christmas this year.

Mrs Harris Goes to Paris (Netflix) ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

I’ll admit, on the face of it, this one looks a bit dull, haven’t we all been to Paris in head to toe tweed and stout shoes?

But actually, it’s a total pleasure!

It manages to tread carefully through the narrative and stay just the right side of slushy sentimentality. 

There are many occasions when you think it’s going to take a tumble down cliché avenue, but luckily it holds itself back from doing so. 

A delightful feel-good romp! 

Watch: if you enjoyed Paddington the movie.

Don’t watch: if haute couture simply baffles you.

Argyle (Netflix) ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 

Don’t be fooled by the start of this film, it’s soooo strong and funny… and sadly not indicative of the rest of it… so try not to be too crestfallen when the reality is revealed. 

Although it does answer the ‘Why that haircut?’ question which will be plaguing you from the start.

If you manage to stick with it through the exhausting train sequence, you’ve cracked the back of it and can settle in for an easy ride. 

At this point, think about catching up on your socials, as it really doesn’t need your full attention, the pace slows down to a crawl, a good time to browse for travel insurance perhaps? 

Watch: if you were debating whether to take your cat away on a mini-break.

Don’t watch: if you don’t agree a full-length gold sequinned dress is ‘action-wear’.

The Substance (cinema/movie theaters) ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 

If you find the above image disturbing, this one is not for you!

I gave this one three stars, as I genuinely still can’t decide whether I liked it or not, but as I’m still thinking about it, one day later, that alone gives it a tick in my book, enough to slide into the much coveted ‘Kate Rates’ section.

Which will hopefully encourage those of you with a strong disposition to go along and see it, and then we discuss it at great lengths in the comments below!

Officially it is a ‘satirical body horror film’, which sums it up nicely.

The kick-off point in the narrative is Elizabeth Sparkle (heroically played by the 61 year old Demi Moore) getting fired from her job as a Prime Time TV aerobics instructor on her 50th birthday.

Naturally she did not see this coming and is suitably gutted about it. 

But unlike the rest of us, she will literally do anything to recapture her youth.

Including administer a series of fluids to herself, supplied by a faceless company, via a dodgy lock-up.

I’d like to think we would have wimped out at the seedy carpark stage, ran away and joined a book club.

But Liz is made from stronger stuff! 

She collects the medical kit, which has briefer instructions than an IKEA Lack Side Table, and once safely back home, an undaunted Liz plows on regardless. 

The plot does not stand any kind of scrutiny, it has more holes than a cheese grater, which actually makes this a very easy watch, because there is simply no point in questioning anyone’s motives at any point, just go with it.

The most grotesque scene, we all agreed, was the repugnant TV Network Executive, Harvey (brilliantly played by Dennis Quaid), eating a plate of shell-on prawns in a restaurant, sans finger bowl.  

If we didn’t hate him before, we certainly did after.

They must have used up 37 of the 96 available audio ‘squelches’ during that scene alone.

The ending of this film takes a strange turn and ascends into full-blown comedy, which was confusing, but by that stage everyone is so tense and poised for the next shocking scene, quite frankly we’ll laugh at anything to ease the tension.

Watch: if you love close-ups of body parts, served up with more than a splattering of claret.

Don’t watch: if you don’t like needles, or copious amounts of blood and ooze.

Kate Slates

Film: Rebel Ridge (Netflix) ⭐️

This film has received exceptional ratings, but I beg to disagree!

It’s basically an update on the Rambo story, of a war veteran (minding his own business) heading into town and ending up in all sorts of bother with the law.

The main issue I have is that John Rambo wasn’t cycling in the middle of the road listening to Death Metal on his headphones drowning out any traffic noises, and didn’t upset the Feds in the opening sequence, as they tried and failed to overtake his bike, resulting in them shoving him off it.

This unfortunate incident unleashes a sequence of events, that gets more and more ludicrously out of hand at every turn.

The dialogue mainly consists of clichés and metaphors, to the point where you are wondering if you have indeed missed an important plot detail or whether the entire plot is implied!

All the characters are so deeply flawed you just don’t care what happens to them. Which, it turns out, is just as well.

Not even a corrupt hill-billy Sheriff, in the shape of Don Johnson can save this one.

The one star above is awarded for the phenomena that is lead actor Aaron Pierre in a balaclava. His eyes are so striking they deem the garment utterly pointless. Hilarious.

Watch: if you like guns.

Don’t watch: if you’re often the one asking your spouse “But why was it obvious to everyone they would immediately get killed??? Did I miss something?”

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I hope you’ve enjoyed this round-up and have added a couple of them to your list!

K8x

Join in the comments below:

Do you like this new format, or prefer the deep dives?

Do you strongly agree or disagree with any of my star ratings?

Can you believe a cinema ticket in the UK is only £5 if booked online? 👏

Thank you for being here, please ❤️ (below) if you enjoyed this piece, it really helps others find it.

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