I don’t hate lemons...

... now with audio.

If you can’t be arsed to read this, or just prefer to listen to my dulcet tones, treat yourself to this voiceover, created just for you, so you can enjoy this post whilst getting your steps in. 😘

I don’t hate lemons…

… it’s just THAT quote.

Do you have a quote or phrase that every time you see it on a post or (God forbid) hear it said out loud, you cringe inwardly and mutter to yourself:

“If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard that phrase…”

I do.

It’s this one:

“When life gives you lemons… make lemonade.”

A bit of background

On the face of it, it’s a lovely optimistic ‘make do and mend’ type of quote, that should lift your spirits about turning a bad situation into a good one.

You probably first heard it when you were a kid, as did I.

Although it took me a while to work out, given my knowledge of ‘lemonade’ at that time was a clear fizzy liquid, produced by a giant corporation like Sprite.

Unlike the wholesome cloudy kind, made with actual lemons, and served in a large glass jug by Ma Walton in times of woe.

So far so good.

Then two things happened:

1. social media was born;

2. I entered the drinks business… just before the craft gin explosion.

Social media for brands

Now, I don’t want to ruin the magic of social media for anyone, but if you’ve ever worked in marketing for a brand, you may have had the misfortune to be a Social Media Manager, which entails creating an endless stream of posts for that brand. 

Or, like in my case, ‘the brand’ was a start-up so you had to do it all yourself, until you reached such dizzy heights as being able to delegate that onerous task over to a fresh-faced Apprentice.

Who to start with, can’t believe their luck!

Not only is posting on Instagram an actual job… but they’re getting paid for it too! Yay!

Fast-forward to almost exactly eight months in, and even the Keenest of Kenneth’s will be experiencing battle fatigue.

A social media post should be (at least!) one of these three things:

1. Informative

2. Of value

3. Amusing

If you’re about to send out a post that is none of those things, please, please, please, don’t bother. You’re wasting everyone’s time with your digital bollox.

In order to satisfy a brand’s ‘need to post relentlessly’ – so your audience doesn’t forget you and the innocent bystanders might discover you – a LOT of avenues are explored.

One of which is ‘quotes’.

You start off with the classics, such as:

“I only drink champagne on two occasions, when I’m in love and when I’m not.” – Coco Chanel

And once you’ve waded through those, you find yourself bastardising well known phrases to bring them into your niche… in this instance the drinks business.

So about nine years ago I posted on Twitter:

“When life gives you lemons… make a gin & tonic.” 

Bloody hilarious I think you’ll agree… back in 2015. 

When few people had yet thought of saying it and making the arse-achingly funny link from the humble lemon to the sophisticated G&T, whilst eshewing the wholesome lemonade.

Does the King have a current Poet Laureate? 

If not, halt the search!

I think we’ve filled that vacancy with this unbelievable wordsmithery! 

I have now seen that phrase on social media approximately 1,396,058 times.

So over it

Since then, a whole ‘Life + Lemons + Gin’ industry has emerged with tea towels, pictures, mugs, coasters and even chopping boards, urging us to cheer ourselves up with a spot of day-drinking.

To say I am ‘so over’ that phrase is a colossal understatement.

I am more ‘over’ that phrase than I am wearing a facemask in the supermarket.

So, imagine my surprise when…

I stumbled upon that phrase a few days ago, and two unusual things happened.

1. The phrase itself ended in a refreshing way.

2. My reaction to my follow-up question was different.

---

In this instance, it was a post by

Little Orchard Kitchen

entitled:

“When life hands you lemons…

Just hand them back and make brownies instead”

Nice one Jen! Fab finish! 👏

---

And yet, despite the top notch second line, my internal monologue still kicked in:

 “If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard that…”

But instead of offering myself the usual response line:

“I’d be in the Seychelles.”

This time, and much to my surprise, I finished it with:

“I’d be sat here, reading this now.”

It was a stark Eureka moment of contentedness, that out of all the things I could be doing, I’d choose to be where I am and doing what I’m doing.

Which isn’t lying on a beach in the tropics sipping piña coladas, it’s at home, with my family, messing around with my Substack.

Thank you lemons for giving me this realisation… I take back every withering sigh I’ve ever given you.

K8x

Join in the comments below:

What’s your most tiresome phrase?

How would you finish “If I had a penny…” ?

Thank you for being here, please ❤️ (below) if you enjoyed this piece, it really helps others find it.