Life hack: Married At First Sight Bingo™

Turn a TV show into a game, for double the entertainment...

I realise there’s been a lot of telly talk here recently, but sometimes the Universe chooses the timing, not me. 

So it is with this in mind that I feel I must surrender to Mother Nature and powers far great than me… as Married at First Sight Australia starts in the UK this Monday on E4!

Woooo hooooo!!!!

Those of you who have read my About page will have seen this coming, and some of you have even been looking forward to it! 😘

Don’t worry if you’re not up to speed with it all, I’ve included a comprehensive crib sheet below, so even the uninitiated can breeze into the office on Tuesday and impress the 20-somethings that you know what the hell they’re talking about! 

Things I’ve learned about life through watching MAFS

1. Side-boob beats under-boob, in the class stakes.

2. An equal ink coverage on the Bride and the Groom doesn’t necessarily lead to wedded bliss.

3. You can make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

4. It’s really sweet watching people genuinely falling for each other.

I like to think it’s that last one that keeps us coming back, rather than the relentless shouting and crying. 

In the early stage episodes, at least three of the couples will seem to have a genuine connection and it is unbelievably heart-warming to watch them fall in ‘like-like’ with each other.

Obviously you know it will all end in tears, usually yours, but for now, let’s all dream of what might be.

Married at First Sight – Australia

The Australian version of this show is the BEST! It was the first to do the Dinner Party / Commitment Ceremony format, and it is utter carnage.

Plus you get to enjoy those gorgeous accents, and take time out to wonder if the Gold Coast, is in fact made of gold. It sounds dreamy.

What to expect

1. Three Experts ‘scientifically’ pair-up twelve couples from the 1,000’s of applicants. Most of which, look like great matches ‘let’s lock them in’, however for some, you can’t help but think the dual bombshells of his four kids and her stripper past might not result in a path to true love.

2. The couples meet for the first time at their lavish ‘wedding¹’, attended by family and friends. The professional hair and make-up squads are the real stars here, everyone looks fabulous! Smiles optional. Lip fillers compulsory.

3. They then share a honeymoon before living together in an apartment, with all the other couples in their own apartments in the same block. At this point your heart goes out to the couple who end up dog-sledding in Finland instead of relaxing in a tropical paradise like most of the other couples, no wonder they were already bickering on Day 2.

4. There is a Commitment Ceremony once a week, where both Bride & Groom chat through their relationship with the Experts. This takes place in front of all the other newlyweds (who are crammed into three sofas and spend the entire time trying, and failing, to not flash their knickers and/or boobs. At this ceremony, each couple have to vote whether to stay in the relationship or leave. The kicker is, if one of them votes to stay, they both have to stay²! Deep joy! 

5. There is a Dinner Party once a week, where all the brides will say they are ‘hoping for a lovely quiet evening’ during the hair-straightening marathon beforehand, whilst the Grooms are deciding whether or not to wear socks with their formalwear. During the party, exactly two minutes after the starters are served the screaming will start, usually triggered by someone ‘throwing someone under the bus’. This results in several people bursting into tears, one of which will walk out. They will return precisely three minutes later after their ‘one true friend’ talks them back off the ledge, by pointing out quietly, that their Instagram following may take a dive if they leave now. They both rejoin the fray and agree to ‘always have each other backs’.

6. Rinse and repeat for about seven weeks. During which time, of the 12 couples, seven will have split up, two will be hanging in there for the TV cameras, one stands a fighting chance ‘on the outside’ (if she moves 250 miles and his three kids accept her) and one seems to be genuinely in love. The remaining couple will already be in a legal battle with the show’s production company over whether it was an infringement of their human rights to ever be introduced to ‘this psychopath’.

7. At the end of the Series the ‘still together’ couples have to decide whether they want to take part in one more final TV episode and renew their ‘marriage’ vows. This will largely depend on their TikTok following. 

Without further ado, let’s play…

MAFS Bingo™

Our tireless Development Team and I have painstakingly distilled all the oft-repeated phrases to formulate these four MAFS Bingo™ boards: 

The downloadable pdf is available below for you to print out at home. Then cut into the four separate boards, place face down on a table and all choose one.

This game is suitable for 2-4 players, or two Kenny Keenos could play two boards at once!

The object of the game

The object of the game is to cross off the squares as either that action is performed on-screen, or the word is said.

You can offer prizes for the first:
Horizontal 5-in-a-row
Vertical 5-in-a-row
Diagonal 5-in-a-row
All squares crossed off, for a full house!

The rules

Blue squares: these are actions, rather than spoken words, and are unique to each board. The action must be performed onscreen (not just talked about) to enable these to be crossed off.

Example: ACTION: EATS

A contestant must actually take a bite of his/her food, not just sit with it. This distinction is crucial in the event of a showdown between actions EATS and DRINKS. The MAFS contestants do spend a great deal of their time sitting at tables full of food and drink and not touching any of it, due to the high-octane discussions concerning who threw who under the bus.

White squares: these words are common to all boards, but in different places. So long as the entire word on the board is spoken during the episode, you may cross it off. It does count if the word on the board is part of a larger word spoken, but not if it’s a derivative of that word.

Example 1: FRIEND

Allowed words: FRIEND, FRIENDS, FRIENDSHIP

Disallowed words: MATE, MATES

Example 2: INTIMATE

Allowed words: INTIMATE

Disallowed words: INTIMACY

Once a player hears one of these words spoken in the episode, I would advise shouting it out so that the other players can also cross it off.

You may think this is counter-intuitive to winning, but if you don’t, there will only be a hugely tedious Stewards Enquiry at the end, followed by lots of rewinding and pausing. Trust me, it’s not worth it.

Also it helps the Newbies, who you’ve hoodwinked into playing with you, to really embrace the camaraderie of this game. Once you all get the hang of this you’ll find it fun to all shout the same thing at the TV together. 

This can be a very bonding experience and goes some way to explaining why televised football has been so successful.

Green squares: follow the same rules as per the white squares above, the difference here is that these words are unique to each board.

Play your Joker

Each player has one Joker to play.

Once the boards have been chosen, each player can play their Joker by drawing a ‘J’ over the word/action that they think is the least likely to come up in this particular episode, thus classing this square as ‘crossed off’ already. 

Seasoned fans of the show will have the advantage here. Like chess, this is a game of skill, not luck.

In the event of a tie-break situation

In the unlikely event of the episode finishing before a Full House is obtained by any player, there are two scenarios:

1. Continue onto the next episode (if available).

2. The winner is the player with the most amount of squares crossed off.

Our quality reassurance

To the untrained eye, these boards may look like a random selection of words and actions, but to the MAFS Veteran, you (my friend) will appreciate the craftsmanship and artistry that has gone into engineering such balance.

These boards have endured seven rigorous testing and modification rounds, resulting in the beauty that stands before you!

I am confident that they will work well, with any English speaking version of MAFS, not just the Australian series, and the same boards should work well across the entire Series, catering for the different episode genres (wedding/honeymoon/normal/dinner party/commitment ceremony).

As per my About page, you knew I was never going to shortcut the development process and skimp on the research.

Good luck!

Use this game as an excuse to get your mates together and enhance your viewing experience with some group shouting and sighs of disbelief as the action unfolds.

Let me know how you fared in the Comments below!

I will be playing it with our Dev Team next week, and I can’t bloody wait! 

You’re welcome.

K8x

PS: If anyone knows anyone at Mattel Inc., do let me know.

™ = Totes aMazing!

Mafs Bingo Final

54.2KB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Thank you for being here, please ❤️ (below) if you enjoyed this piece, it really helps others find it.

1. It’s not a legal commitment in any country, but let’s assume it is, and take the ‘marriage’ VERY seriously.

2. In past Series there have been occasions when one partner just votes ‘Stay’ week after week, so they both have to stay and get the extra TV time… or so they can pursue the affair they’re trying to start with another contestant.