The Power of ‘Can’
How ‘can’ can help you achieve (almost) anything.
A bit of background
I was first alerted to the incredible power of ‘can’, when trying to get past seemingly ‘impossible’ levels on Candy Crush.
Seems ridiculous, but please bear with me, I am going somewhere interesting with this…
So, after a frustrating number of failed attempts, I would think I was missing something obvious in the gameplay, and go off to YouTube and search out a video of someone completing that particular level… critically with no boosts.
In other words, that player didn’t have an advantage over me, they had the same start position, same number of moves, and yet unlike me they finished the level.
The odd thing was that, more often than not, once I had watched the video, I went back to Candy Crush and completed that level in the next few attempts.
The first time this happened, I saw it as a fluke, but then it kept happening.
I hadn’t learned any new moves from the video, but crucially I had learned that it was ‘possible’. It ‘could’ be solved.
The post-video victories kept happening so often, that it resulted in earlier YouTube visits, ‘safe in the knowledge’ that it would speed up the completion of that particular level.
The power of ‘can’ is a hugely important lesson to learn and once you are aware of it, can be applied to most things.
When you see others doing the thing that you had thought was ‘impossible’ it becomes closer to you in terms of achievement.
It becomes possible.
I remember reading an interview with Victoria Coren Mitchell and she said that she grew up knowing it was possible to earn a living as a writer, because her Dad, Alan Coren, was one.
She saw first hand that he wrote words, sold them and put a roof over their heads and food on the table as a result.
Being a writer was a very possible thing to do for the Coren kids, and both Victoria and Giles went on to become journalists.
I wonder if they would have, if he’d been an architect instead?
After the first successful powered flight by the Wright Brothers in 1903, there were a plethora of successful ones afterwards by five other different teams within five years.
I wonder how much of an influence it was to know it was a solvable puzzle by then.
Not a ridiculous pipe dream, that man could fly.
Now I am experiencing the power of ‘can’ in a very different way.
I have been writing on Substack for about 16 months, and I know a LOT of writers now.
A lot of them have or are in the process of writing a book, some have written many books.
This is company where I have heard this phrase used apologetically and with all sincerity:
“I’ve only written one book.”
As if that were a massive under-achievement.
Before I came to Substack I thought writing a book was a pretty big deal.
I still think it is!
But now I am surrounded by people moving the dial of progress forward on a day by day basis, that I am now thinking ‘I’ll probably write one at some point’.
Two years ago, I would have thought the chances of me writing a book were super slim, and now I think it’s almost inevitable.
Such is the power of ‘can’.
Surround yourself with those that ‘do’
So I think the message here is to help you achieve whatever it is that you want to do, where possible surround yourself with people doing that thing.
This will normalise it and make it seem very achievable, whereas if you continue to think that it’s just ‘something that other people do’ then it will remain a pipe dream.
And if you can’t do that in a ‘real life’ environment, then watch loads of YouTube videos about the subject and you’ll find people who are doing that exact thing.
Another way that ‘can’ can help you
On a sidebar, here’s another way you can incorporate more ‘can’ into your life for the positive.
A friend of mine,
, recently told me that she’d learned a great trick to help you do the things that you weren’t super-keen to do, typically those things usually start with the phrase:“I should…”
or
”I could…”
Try using ‘I can’ instead.
It reframes the opportunity.
We were having lunch in a lovely restaurant about 4,500 steps from my house, and I deliberately hadn’t driven in, so I could have a couple of glasses of wine.
I floated the notion that ‘I should walk home to get those steps in’, but, let’s face it after a couple of Sauvignon Blancs and the technical wonder that is Uber, the chances of me doing so were becoming increasingly unlikely.
As I left the restaurant, I thought I’d try out the new trick…
I can walk home.
Just that phrase, seemed very powerful, so much better than I should walk home, which sounds like it’s nagging at you.
I can walk home… because I’m lucky enough to live within walking distance.
I can walk home… because I’m fit and healthy and don’t need assistance to do so.
I can walk home… because for once, it’s not raining!
I can walk home… because I have the time.
By reframing that simple sentence, I ended up feeling incredibly lucky to even have the choice to walk home, and so I did… with a spring in my step.
Toodles!
K8x
Join in the comments below:
What would you love to do, but it just seems impossible right now?
Have you already discovered the power of ‘can’, if so how did it help you?
Are you going to head on over to YouTube now? If so, what for?
Thank you for being here, please ❤️ (below) if you enjoyed this piece, it really helps others find it.
This is a great reminder. I am going to start using “can” instead of “should”. I actually have been thinking about this lately, but was unsure how to change my thinking. This definitely solves it, so thank you very much!
Love the reframe!