A great read Kate. I’m a runner and get so annoyed that there are certain routes I enjoy to run, however choose not to if I’m on my own, even during daylight hours as it’s considered “not safe” for lone women, WTF!!
So often female runners are attacked in broad daylight which makes me so angry. 😡
Why shouldn’t we be able to go out and do what we like whatever time of the day.
Wow I didn't know this! I would have thought being a runner, means you are strong and would would obviously give chase! That's a horrible feeling, knowing you might be attacked even though you haven't even got a bag. 😔
One of my favorite teen movies from the '80s was called Just One of the Guys where a popular girl decides to prove herself and be taken seriously by dressing as boy at another school. She quickly learns the difference between how boys and girls are treated. Although it's a teen comedy they really showcase the differences between the two even at a younger age.
I have to give my dog her last walk which I usually do around 9pm so I do that every night and don’t feel worried tho the streets are well lit and I know she’d protect me.
I stayed in the New York youth hostel when I was 18 on my way to be a Counsellor at Camp America. I got really sick that night, retching and lying on the floor in the communal bathroom. So strange. I have never worked out what was wrong, whether it was stress, or what. Most unpleasant. A couple of weeks later I found I was really itchy 'down below' and had caught crabs! Must have been the bedlinen. Not a good experience all round!
I've always been really lax with this and with a drink in me would happily walk home alone, I'm lucky I came away unscathed. I did have a near miss when I was followed home once, the guy was chatting to me & I was heading back to halls in Edinburgh, he suggested we go for a walk at Arthur's Seat, so I kept him chatting along and then as soon as I reached the halls, I pegged it past the security shouting at them, don't let him in...it worked.
That was aged 18 and still I carried on. Even recently I would take the dog out at 10pm in York - I always held my key in between my knuckles. I never told my husband for some reason, I think it's that dangerous independent streak in me. When we moved to a small village it felt much safer & now it feels impossible that anything would happen. Of course it's possible, but it would be a pretty stupid move for someone.
Well, around here there's a greater chance of poking your eye out with a tree branch during a walk in the dark! We have bears too but I worry more about the drunk drivers in this rural area in broad daylight. Last week an intoxicated driver evaded police following up on an anonymous report, continued along the highway and then serendipitously collided with another police cruiser from behind.
I laughed at this line: "I did ‘give chase’ (WTF?) but fell over before I could get into any real trouble, thank Christ!"
Yes! Twice at least! One time I was in Cambridge studying a TEFL course (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and the other time I was in Manchester where the fancy shmansy hotels were too expensive, so I went to the local hostel near to the hotel where my business conference was being held (a mastermind group). I met some cool people and stayed with concert goers! :)
Would you go out for a walk after dark to make up your daily step count?
If it's a trip to Tesco down the road, then yes. I typically avoid parks and green spaces after dark in case there are 'lurkers'. If it's Summer - the Sun would still be up, so no problems there! I remember working in Central London and going for drinks on Friday nights. I would come home very late, when it was also dark - I would have made the journey home via London Bridge, walking all the way to the station from Holborn! It never bothered me that I was a woman. Normally, I would be smartly dressed with a lot of layers... I figured I didn't look like an easy victim as my clothing was too complex for any potential perpetrator to get through easily! By the time they got to the cookie... the police would have caught them in the act! I must say, in situations like this, I was feeling pretty masculine and radiated a masculine energy around me as I was alone. I remember I even protected one of my girl friends in a nightclub by putting men off! She was with her boyfriend, but I really went for it in being her bodyguard and was having none of that! I was in a black trouser suit and tie as well (that was my style back then). It is interesting to me how women and men, when they take on different gender roles, become what they believe about themselves. I just think there's masculine and feminine energy in all of us, created for our use in the right scenario and context.
Back in the olden days, it was considered improper for a woman to walk down the street without being accompanied by a man. Society has changed a lot since then, but I feel a lot of people's mindsets could do with an update. Also, women used to wear puffy skirts with petticoats (not to mention corsets), which restricted their movement so they couldn't just run away from an assault and needed a lot more help.
I don't feel all that confident walking alone during the day never mind when it gets dark. I'm unsettled by people walking behind me (regardless of gender) so will slow down to let them pass were possible. I'm not sure how much of this has to do with being a woman or if it is just my general disposition.
I totally relate to that! If you find you're in step with someone near, I also change my pace to put distance between us, whether it's to slow down or speed up. 😂
I have stayed in a hostel and in New York. When I was 19 I got a bus pass to travel around the US. I did this by myself. I am now 70 and I would like to be that young lady who, of course, was very nervous but I did it. I live in Montana and would walk home from basketball games or whatever was going on at school. We live in a small town in Montana, and I still worry about walking at night. However, I fear the occasional loose dog or a moose on the loose.
I first stayed in a hostel by myself in Miami’s South Beach neighborhood during Art Basel week when I was in my mid-40s. Met the loveliest people. At 52, I wanted to backpack around Europe (before my son graduated from college and did it, so I wouldn’t be jealous) so I went to Spain, Portugal, Austria, Germany and Egypt, mostly staying alone in hostels, a couple times at friends and once in a rental apartment. Didn’t have any issues. I routinely go out alone in NYC, walking around late at night after seeing live music, riding the subway, though lately tend to drive more for convenience and because sadly there are so many mentally ill people that we are not caring for properly, as your son found. I walk my dog at night in my Brooklyn neighborhood, sometimes even in to Prospect Park. My father still can’t believe I go out after dark alone as a woman, and I get very annoyed at this notion, but then I read this and poll women occasionally and realize I am not in the majority:( I do meet other women like me though and am always wishing that more of us would realize that so much of the fear is really in our imagination.
I'm sure it is mostly in our heads, it's just tricky letting go of it.
I was talking to two of my female friends about this before I published it and they claimed not to feel the fear, however we then all swapped notes and it turns out we had all been mugged once (in London). So whether you fear or not doesn't change the outcome, but I'm not sure if perhaps I would put myself in more risky situations if I didn't fear it. I'll never know.
I have to say, you're mostly on target with guys. There are some places I refuse to go, but in general I go where and when I want. If I don't know the area, I do try to stay in well lit, well trafficked places.
I've had conversations about this with female friends and also friends who are black. I definitely live in a different world (and try to appreciate it). Take care.
I stayed at a hostel in Barcelona booked by the wonderful Grandpa Robert. It was v grand in outward appearance and right off las Ramblas. But the clientele, well, odd indeed. There were regular crashes during the night and not being the type to ask in England what the coo was it took me days to work up the courage to ask in spanish. Apparently the old man in the room next door, a permanent resident??!! Had a touch of drinking problem and together with being completely blind ( really ) would dance rather chaotically around his room. This proudly acquired info also explained why the shared shower room was literally covered every morning with dark curly wurlies. He had no clue!
Great thought provoking article, random aside; I would like to learn to play poker.
There is a lot of gang violence in my neighborhood. A few summers ago an eighteen-year-old boy was shot and paralyzed from the neck down in the house NEXT DOOR to ours. And the poor kid wasn’t even the intended target. The crime is still unsolved.
I was nodding along to all of this, Kate. A brilliant piece but sad that this is true in 2024. Thanks for writing and sharing.
Thanks Hannah!
I'd never want to swap being a man for a woman, but it would be interesting to just walk about a bit and experience the other view point. 🤓
A great read Kate. I’m a runner and get so annoyed that there are certain routes I enjoy to run, however choose not to if I’m on my own, even during daylight hours as it’s considered “not safe” for lone women, WTF!!
So often female runners are attacked in broad daylight which makes me so angry. 😡
Why shouldn’t we be able to go out and do what we like whatever time of the day.
Wow I didn't know this! I would have thought being a runner, means you are strong and would would obviously give chase! That's a horrible feeling, knowing you might be attacked even though you haven't even got a bag. 😔
One of my favorite teen movies from the '80s was called Just One of the Guys where a popular girl decides to prove herself and be taken seriously by dressing as boy at another school. She quickly learns the difference between how boys and girls are treated. Although it's a teen comedy they really showcase the differences between the two even at a younger age.
It would be fun to see the other view point. 👍
So enjoyable and I “feel” you, a 5’2” woman - who wouldn’t go for a walk at 9pm. LOL
I'm so glad it's not just me! 😊
I have to give my dog her last walk which I usually do around 9pm so I do that every night and don’t feel worried tho the streets are well lit and I know she’d protect me.
Dogs do seem to add a layer of safety, you're not the only one here who has a furry body guard. 👍
I stayed in the New York youth hostel when I was 18 on my way to be a Counsellor at Camp America. I got really sick that night, retching and lying on the floor in the communal bathroom. So strange. I have never worked out what was wrong, whether it was stress, or what. Most unpleasant. A couple of weeks later I found I was really itchy 'down below' and had caught crabs! Must have been the bedlinen. Not a good experience all round!
Yikes! You're not selling the experience! 🤮
I've always been really lax with this and with a drink in me would happily walk home alone, I'm lucky I came away unscathed. I did have a near miss when I was followed home once, the guy was chatting to me & I was heading back to halls in Edinburgh, he suggested we go for a walk at Arthur's Seat, so I kept him chatting along and then as soon as I reached the halls, I pegged it past the security shouting at them, don't let him in...it worked.
That was aged 18 and still I carried on. Even recently I would take the dog out at 10pm in York - I always held my key in between my knuckles. I never told my husband for some reason, I think it's that dangerous independent streak in me. When we moved to a small village it felt much safer & now it feels impossible that anything would happen. Of course it's possible, but it would be a pretty stupid move for someone.
Literally 'locked and loaded'! I hope I never stumble across you in the dark! 👏
Good idea!!
Well, around here there's a greater chance of poking your eye out with a tree branch during a walk in the dark! We have bears too but I worry more about the drunk drivers in this rural area in broad daylight. Last week an intoxicated driver evaded police following up on an anonymous report, continued along the highway and then serendipitously collided with another police cruiser from behind.
I laughed at this line: "I did ‘give chase’ (WTF?) but fell over before I could get into any real trouble, thank Christ!"
Thanks Jules, glad it made you chuckle! 😂
Have you ever had a fab time at a hostel?
Yes! Twice at least! One time I was in Cambridge studying a TEFL course (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and the other time I was in Manchester where the fancy shmansy hotels were too expensive, so I went to the local hostel near to the hotel where my business conference was being held (a mastermind group). I met some cool people and stayed with concert goers! :)
Would you go out for a walk after dark to make up your daily step count?
If it's a trip to Tesco down the road, then yes. I typically avoid parks and green spaces after dark in case there are 'lurkers'. If it's Summer - the Sun would still be up, so no problems there! I remember working in Central London and going for drinks on Friday nights. I would come home very late, when it was also dark - I would have made the journey home via London Bridge, walking all the way to the station from Holborn! It never bothered me that I was a woman. Normally, I would be smartly dressed with a lot of layers... I figured I didn't look like an easy victim as my clothing was too complex for any potential perpetrator to get through easily! By the time they got to the cookie... the police would have caught them in the act! I must say, in situations like this, I was feeling pretty masculine and radiated a masculine energy around me as I was alone. I remember I even protected one of my girl friends in a nightclub by putting men off! She was with her boyfriend, but I really went for it in being her bodyguard and was having none of that! I was in a black trouser suit and tie as well (that was my style back then). It is interesting to me how women and men, when they take on different gender roles, become what they believe about themselves. I just think there's masculine and feminine energy in all of us, created for our use in the right scenario and context.
Back in the olden days, it was considered improper for a woman to walk down the street without being accompanied by a man. Society has changed a lot since then, but I feel a lot of people's mindsets could do with an update. Also, women used to wear puffy skirts with petticoats (not to mention corsets), which restricted their movement so they couldn't just run away from an assault and needed a lot more help.
Good for you! 👏
Although I wonder if men think about how many layers of clothing they are wearing? 😉
Well, that depends on the kind of man, how cold it is outside and their status... They'd be wearing a bullet-proof vest for all I know ;)
Hee hee! 😂
😂😂😂
Treadmill when it gets dark to reach my step count, not outdoors
Me too! 🙌
I don't feel all that confident walking alone during the day never mind when it gets dark. I'm unsettled by people walking behind me (regardless of gender) so will slow down to let them pass were possible. I'm not sure how much of this has to do with being a woman or if it is just my general disposition.
I totally relate to that! If you find you're in step with someone near, I also change my pace to put distance between us, whether it's to slow down or speed up. 😂
I have stayed in a hostel and in New York. When I was 19 I got a bus pass to travel around the US. I did this by myself. I am now 70 and I would like to be that young lady who, of course, was very nervous but I did it. I live in Montana and would walk home from basketball games or whatever was going on at school. We live in a small town in Montana, and I still worry about walking at night. However, I fear the occasional loose dog or a moose on the loose.
Moose on the loose! That's a whole nuther show! 😂
I first stayed in a hostel by myself in Miami’s South Beach neighborhood during Art Basel week when I was in my mid-40s. Met the loveliest people. At 52, I wanted to backpack around Europe (before my son graduated from college and did it, so I wouldn’t be jealous) so I went to Spain, Portugal, Austria, Germany and Egypt, mostly staying alone in hostels, a couple times at friends and once in a rental apartment. Didn’t have any issues. I routinely go out alone in NYC, walking around late at night after seeing live music, riding the subway, though lately tend to drive more for convenience and because sadly there are so many mentally ill people that we are not caring for properly, as your son found. I walk my dog at night in my Brooklyn neighborhood, sometimes even in to Prospect Park. My father still can’t believe I go out after dark alone as a woman, and I get very annoyed at this notion, but then I read this and poll women occasionally and realize I am not in the majority:( I do meet other women like me though and am always wishing that more of us would realize that so much of the fear is really in our imagination.
I'm sure it is mostly in our heads, it's just tricky letting go of it.
I was talking to two of my female friends about this before I published it and they claimed not to feel the fear, however we then all swapped notes and it turns out we had all been mugged once (in London). So whether you fear or not doesn't change the outcome, but I'm not sure if perhaps I would put myself in more risky situations if I didn't fear it. I'll never know.
I have to say, you're mostly on target with guys. There are some places I refuse to go, but in general I go where and when I want. If I don't know the area, I do try to stay in well lit, well trafficked places.
Enjoy the freedom, albeit well-lit where possible. 👍
I've had conversations about this with female friends and also friends who are black. I definitely live in a different world (and try to appreciate it). Take care.
I stayed at a hostel in Barcelona booked by the wonderful Grandpa Robert. It was v grand in outward appearance and right off las Ramblas. But the clientele, well, odd indeed. There were regular crashes during the night and not being the type to ask in England what the coo was it took me days to work up the courage to ask in spanish. Apparently the old man in the room next door, a permanent resident??!! Had a touch of drinking problem and together with being completely blind ( really ) would dance rather chaotically around his room. This proudly acquired info also explained why the shared shower room was literally covered every morning with dark curly wurlies. He had no clue!
Great thought provoking article, random aside; I would like to learn to play poker.
Yikes! That is exactly why I’ve never stayed in a hostel! 😂😂
There is a lot of gang violence in my neighborhood. A few summers ago an eighteen-year-old boy was shot and paralyzed from the neck down in the house NEXT DOOR to ours. And the poor kid wasn’t even the intended target. The crime is still unsolved.
Wow that is terrifying! 😳